connected to Presence?

:: annual september 1 reflection ::
am i living in truth based on Presence or truth based on information and past experience? my life should be an outflow of the Presence of Christ in my life, is it?

Have mercy on me, O God,
because of your unfailing love.
Because of your great compassion,
blot out the stain of my sins.
Wash me clean from my guilt.
Purify me from my sin.
For I recognize my rebellion;
it haunts me day and night.
Against you, and you alone, have I sinned;
I have done what is evil in your sight.
You will be proved right in what you say,
and your judgment against me is just.
For I was born a sinner—
yes, from the moment my mother conceived me.
But you desire honesty from the womb,
teaching me wisdom even there.

Purify me from my sins,and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
Oh, give me back my joy again;
you have broken me—
now let me rejoice.
Don’t keep looking at my sins.
Remove the stain of my guilt.
Create in me a clean heart, O God.
Renew a loyal spirit within me.
Do not banish me from your presence,
and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and make me willing to obey you.
Then I will teach your ways to rebels,
and they will return to you.
Forgive me for shedding blood, O God who saves;
then I will joyfully sing of your forgiveness.
Unseal my lips, O Lord,
that my mouth may praise you.

You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one.
You do not want a burnt offering.
The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit.
You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.
Look with favor on Zion and help her;
rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.
Then you will be pleased with sacrifices offered in the right spirit—

Fire: Connect to Presence

::on fiding my dream job::

I took one of those "find the perfect career test" today, this is what I got: two results based on who i am being right now and who i want to be. i got about 50 different career choices that could be a fit. helpful. it's all so clear now. it was however, a good diversion making me feel like i was getting closer to living the life i was created for. more productive than farm town maybe?

You would be very happy in a career that utilized your level-headedness, and allowed you to work mainly on your own. You want a career that allows you to be creative, without having to be involved with lots of people. Some careers that would be perfect for you are:

* Artist
* Historian
* Banker
* Novelist
* University Professor
* Photographer
* Vet
* Paralegal
* Graphic Designer
* Online Content Developer
* Webmaster
* Producer
* Managing Director
* Nutritionist
* Advertising
* Nursing

You like working and being alone. You like to avoid attention at all costs. You tend to keep to yourself, and not interact much with the people around you. You enjoy spending time with a few a close friends. You like to listen to others, but don't like sharing much about yourself. You are very quiet and private.

This is not how I feel, only reveals my insecurities to me in the way I fearfully answer the survey questions. It may be perhaps the way I am perceived in my workplace, I'm not really sure. If I say that I like people and enjoy being in charge; if I say that I love being where the action is...will I actually have to then work in a job that requires me to step up? Will I have to stick my neck out again? Will I have to face the rejection and pain of leadership again?

You like to be deeply involved in one or two special projects. You like to be behind the scenes. You are very logical and fair. You feel you should be honest with others and protect their feelings.

You trust your gut instincts. You are easily inspired and trust that inspiration. You are very innovative. You analyse things by looking at the big picture. You are concerned about how what you do affects others. You worry about your actions and the future. You tend to use a lot of metaphors and are very descriptive and colourful in your choice of language.

You are very creative, and get bored easily if you don't get to express yourself. You like to learn new things. You don�t like the same old routine. You like to leave your options open.

So, that's the first outcome of the survey. I took it again.
This time I got a personality that is more of who I want to be. Travel agent? that may be fun.

You would most enjoy a career that allows you to meet new people. You would also be happiest in a career that allows you to be free and flexible, and allows you to be extremely creative. Some careers that would be perfect for you are:

* Stockbroker
* Secretary
* Receptionist
* Director
* Recruitment Consultant
* Politician
* Marketing
* Human Resources Manager
* Religious Minister
* Teacher
* Lawyer
* Advertising
* Consultant
* Financial Adviser
* Financial Planner
* GP
* Physical Therapy
* Occupational Therapy
* Public Relations
* Estate Agent
* Travel Agent
* Restauranteur
* Hotel Manager
* Events Organiser

You are a great leader. You genuinely enjoy being around other people. Your relationships with others are very important to you. You love talking and meeting new people. You are very enthusiastic about work and about all that you do and have in your life. You love being the focus of attention. You enjoy a fast pace. You are very socially oriented. Therefore, you are much happier being with others than you are alone. You crave interaction with others.

You are very spontaneous and often act before you think. You are always quick to answer when you are asked a question, even if you aren't sure of the answer. It is easier for you to improvise as you go along. You enjoy thinking out loud, and are most creative when brainstorming with friends or colleagues. You enjoy being involved in many activities.

You are very easy to read, and often wear your heart on your sleeve. You are never afraid to tell people what you think. You are very empathetic and genuine. You can sometimes be seen as over-emotional or too involved by others. But that is only because you tend to get so involved in the things you do that they become personal. You want to be adored, loved and appreciated. You like to please others and to make sure people are happy.

You trust your gut instincts. You are easily inspired and trust that inspiration. You are very innovative. You analyse things by looking at the big picture. You are concerned about how what you do affects others. You worry about your actions and the future. You tend to use a lot of metaphors and are very descriptive and colourful in your choice of language.

You are very creative, and get bored easily if you don't get to express yourself. You like to learn new things. You don't like the same old routine. You like to leave your options open.

take the quiz: iVillage

Exile Island

For years I have been a student of the gifts given to us by God to fulfill our mission in reconciliation. Working together in different ways towards a common aim, Paul compared us to a human body. It consists of many parts but each part is ordered to the well-being of the whole. That should be a picture of the Christian community. We are all equal in dignity - Jew or Greek, slave or citizen, man or woman, cleric or lay - but different in calling and manner of service.

On this feast of Pentecost, as we celebrate the formation and the mission of the whole Christian community, I also need to reflect on the particular role that God has for me, to reflect on the particular contribution that I can make to the corporate mission of the Church (and of the particular group with which I am involved, whatever that is to look like).

Missionaries on a foreign mission field find themselves pioneering new works, forging new paths, carrying on a work in what must feel at times like isolation. One night while we were watching Survivor, I began thinking how similar the experience on Exile Island is to the experience I am having with the Christian community. The community is still there, back at camp doing the things you do back at camp. I am still part of the community, just not in proximity. There are times I feel like I live in some kind of exile. That is not new, I am not the first or only Christ follower who has experienced this. Some who have gone before us have been literally exiled. It is how we use this time, right?

Today, because of what a friend of mine is going through being separated from her family at a time when she most needs to be with them, I am again considering the power of proximity, or the lack of. My friend is at work right now, surrounded by people who have no idea what she is going through. She is a child of God saying goodbye to a loved one. I prayed that she would know the "Peace be with you" that transcends proximity and as I prayed, I knew that it was possible. A mystery to be sure.

Ultimately the mission of the Church is to bring people to God. It is not primarily to make converts to Christianity or to build up the Church but to work with God in building the Kingdom. The Kingdom realized is the whole world acknowledging the lordship of God our Creator and people directing their lives to be one with him.

In exile, this may look different than it has before. So, what's it gonna be...this life on the Island.

Do something transformational

I took a survey and this is what it said...

I occasionally enjoy taking various personality tests, especially when I need to break an over reflective cycle. These cycles get spinning and these tests seem to give a point of spinning off in an actual direction for a while. Today I completed a Spiritual Profile survey on explorefaith.org (a site that I wish that I had created, I like it that much). This test has brought a couple of things in me to the surface. I am caused to consider and appreciate the differences, the uniqueness of the way we all go about our Spiritual journey. This is, when I meet someone who has a style so different than mine, a difficult thing for me to embrace. For example, when I am feeling doubtful, distant and a bit insecure in my faith, the last person I want to talk to is someone who is a "lover" or a "maverick" (types listed in this profile). They may be the exact people I need to interact with but never the less, it is difficult thing for me to celebrate. Today, I am rethinking that attitude, and even I will admit that is a long time coming and could prove to be very beneficial.

The other benefit for me today in taking this was that I saw what may be a description of my journey and discovered a couple resources that I would like to look into more. I love it when I get a lead on how I may set out on learning the life that my Creator is leading me in.

This is what my profile said about me:

You are a Seeker


Seeker

Seekers are people who naturally connect with the Holy One through questioning. They have a healthy skepticism that makes it easy for them to explore different opinions, understandings, and experiences of faith. They do not feel the need to accept traditional faith patterns in order to come to a lively trust in God. They do not feel that faith needs to be categorized or institutionalized in order to be real. Inconsistencies and mystery are not daunting to them, but they sometimes find it hard to recognize God in ready-made answers to questions of faith. They seek to relate to the Holy One through exploration and journey. They tend to pray with hopefulness rather than certainty in God’s response. If they were to meet God face to face, they would want to ask God questions.

The woman who met Jesus by a well near her town exemplifies the qualities of a seeker. She was courageous in speaking with Jesus—a male who was outside her tradition—and she even boldly challenged Jesus when he questioned her about her faith and life. Though she was on a path of trying to find and live spiritual truth, she was humble enough to accept new truth when it was revealed to her.

If you are a seeker you may find spiritual meaning through asking questions and testing the normally accepted assumptions about God and faith. As a seeker looking for truth, the journey will be as important to you as the destination. You may be encouraged in your seeking by going to explorefaith.org’s Explore Faith section. Other material of interest could include explorefaith.org books such as Blowing the Lid off the God-box and Beyond Words: Fifteen Ways of Doing Prayer, and articles introducing new ways of perceiving, such as those on Ram Dass, Jewish Spirituality, A World of Prayers, and The Stuff of Dreams, about using dreams and the unconscious to connect with God.

Seekers may struggle more with traditional patterns of prayer and faith. Praying the Hours and reading daily Signpost devotions may be surprise tonics for your soul.

Surprises along the Mississippi River.

I love surprises...



Yesterday we took a drive to Memphis to connect with Jamie and Gayle Pund, who have been in Memphis on a week long mission trip working with "NCC". So, we after worshiping God with the community of believers at Friendship Nazarene, and eating lunch at Pearl Oyster House, we decided to take a walk along first Beale St. and then the Mississippi. We grew up along the "ole Miss" and then on down the river in La Crosse WI our friendship with the Punds was formed. Another friendship, one with Jenn Macainaig was formed along the same river. Later, she would move to Madison, WI - where she still lives and sails and has her being on a different body of water. Back to Memphis...we were crossing the road when we heard a horn honk and there at the intersection of Life and Fun sat Jenn Macainag in her Honda, Pilot. A second look confirmed it. There we were, hundreds of miles away from our respective homes, brought together by the Maker of the Mississippi River. It was a great day spent among those I love, the Body of Christ. Worshiping our Creator together, enjoying friendship. I love surprises.

Ash Wednesday: the beginning of a historic journey

Lord Jesus Christ, you loved us while we were yet sinners, and have called us to love others, to bring hope to a broken world. Help us each day to be your people and to live lives of uncommon faith and love. You are the Lord forevermore. Amen.

Be Thou My Vision

Ancient Irish hymn, possibly from the 8th Century

Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best thought by day or by night
Waking or sleeping Thy presence my light
Be thou my wisdom and Thou my true word
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord
Thou my great Father, I , Thy true son
Thou in me dwelling and I with Thee one
Riches I heed not nor man's emptly praise
Thou mine inheritance now and always
Thou and thou only first in my heart
High King of heaven my treasure Thou are
High King of heaven my victory won
May I reach heaven's joys, O bright heaven's Sun
Heart of my own heart whatever befall
Still be my vision O Ruler of all

Recently I have been reflecting (too much probably) on what I should be striving to become. The character, the inner growth is so intangible - it is not something I can work on with time oriented goals and specific outcomes. There are things I am mindful of, but I find myself needing goals and a plan for where I am going. Even if the plan changes along the way, I need a plan. So, here I am with many things up in the air - family, school, business, career....
It is good today to take time - in ashes. I love connecting with history - the lent journey is a historic one, that reaches down through the ages, connecting with the human story of relationship with our Creator. I know I am not the first to travel this road, won't be the last and am not alone along the way. Recognizing my need for connection with my God, my Creator, my Savior. Be my vision, O Ruler of all.

Detours...

...are meant for going around the route that was originally intended. Detours are a way to get around an area that is not considered safe to travel. Detours are a second best way to go, right?

Today in honor of the catastrophe that took place at Pearl Harbor, a Christian Church I attended took a - and I quote - "detour from our missions moment" to read about war and the honor that it is for young men to learn to shoot a gun and unite against a "common enemy", to protect the USA.

I sat there in disbelief. Are we not citizens of the Kingdom of God? Was Jesus just not clear enough about what that Kingdom is about? As I listened to the message that followed I was glad to hear an acknowledgment that the ways of the Kingdom of God are not that of our culture many times. The message addressed issues of disbelief, faith and doubt. Are we so sure that we can preserve our way of life, comfort and freedom better than Jesus? Do we not believe that God will lead us, teach us and do what is best for us? Or are we just afraid of what God would allow to happen to us if we simply obeyed, followed Jesus in His way and lived by the ways of the Kingdom of God rather than of this world. I think we all realize that there are many who do and don't live through it.

A life of faith is not one that guarantees safety and freedom or comfort or popularity. It does not promise acceptance, it doesn't even promise food on the table. Regardless of what happens, a life of faith is about following Jesus (a homeless man, living below the poverty line, outcast by religious leaders, killed by his country for his teachings, claiming to be the Son of God - living and dying so that we could learn a better way) no matter what.

I am honestly baffled many times by the things that are embraced by the Body of Christ. I am looking to be part of a community of believers who are open to conform to the ways of the Kingdom of God, even if it means challenging those things that we have always thought to be o.k. - even if it means standing alone, against the masses and proclaiming the Good News.

Following Jesus, we are promised glory and the presence and peace of God. Often this means just staying on course, not taking detours that are presented to us as a better way.

Here are some things said by mentors of mine on the issue of peace.:

We have placed such idolatrous faith in our ability to protect ourselves that we call it more courageous to die killing than to die loving. - Shane Claiborn, The Irresistible Revolution, 286

It’s even more scandalous to think of killing someone who kills, for they, more than anyone in the world, need to hear that they are created for something better than that. - Shane Claiborn, Jesus for President, 205

So even as we see the horror of death, may we be reminded that in the end, love wins. Mercy triumphs. Life is more powerful than death. And even those who have committed great violence can have the image of God come to life again within them as they hear the whisper of love. May the whisper of love grow louder than the thunder of violence. May we love loudly. – Jesus for President, 205

Then Jesus said to him, "Put your sword back into its place; for those who live by the sword, die by the sword." Matt 26:52.

"Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth... Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy... Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God." Matt 5:5-9.

"But I say to you that hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same." Luke 6:27-32

What I'm researching on Wikipedia

The term socialization is used by sociologists, social psychologists and educationalists to refer to the process of learning one’s culture and how to live within it. For the individual it provides the skills and habits necessary for acting and participating within their society. For the society, inducting all individual members into its moral norms, attitudes, values, motives, social roles, language and symbols is the ‘means by which social and cultural continuity are attained’ (Clausen 1968: 5).

I recently had a conversation about socialization that has effected me deeply. I am on it. I am always interested in stuff like this. How people live together, work together...how I can best live along side other. How I can love better and be more useful... I have not ever been in a place for longer that two weeks where I had not been socialized. For two weeks in a different culture, you take the instruction of those who live there, understanding or not you just mirror their responses to the environment. For two weeks, anyone can appreciate the differences of others, embrace the uniqueness of others. Two months - not the case.

Along with learning how this happens, I will be finding out how long it takes. I suspect many missionaries show up in a culture not prepared for what they are truly entering into. This, I now know can be not such a good thing. There are so many dynamics that can blindside. If I had it to do all over, I would quickly find a cultural mentor. My experience is not as dramatic as socialization in another country with a new language - but then again maybe you are granted more time, more benefit of the doubt, if you look different and are still learning the language.

hmmmm....
Secondary socialization refers to the process of learning what is appropriate behavior as a member of a smaller group within the larger society. It is usually associated with teenagers and adults, and involves smaller changes than those occurring in primary socialization. eg. entering a new profession, relocating to a new environment or society.

Developmental socialization is the process of learning behavior in a social institution or developing your social skills.

Resocialization refers to the process of discarding former behavior patterns and accepting new ones as part of a transition in one's life. This occurs throughout the human life cycle (Schaefer & Lamm, 1992: 113). Resocialization can be an intense experience, with the individual experiencing a sharp break with their past, and needing to learn and be exposed to radically different norms and values. An example might be the experience of a young man or woman leaving home to join the military.

to vote or not...

While many of my friends know for certain how they will vote, I struggle with if I should vote or not. It is clear that we cannot know what the facts are. As a Christian, my true citizenship is not that of America. It is not my goal to see that Government legislates morality according to my beliefs. On the other hand voting can be an opportunity to promote change. But then, I have voted in the past and not liked feeling responsible for what I cannot control. I feel like I made a choice and now the blood is on my hands.

What I do know is that I have got to be active in my primary citizenship of the Kingdom of God. In that system, we don't vote once every 4 years and then just live with the choice we make. We get to vote every day with the way we live our lives. Faith. Peace. Hope. Love. Freedom. We fight for those. We cannot forget that Love wins in the end. This had been determined. No matter what happens, or doesn't happen, our mission is to remind those around us, spread the good news and spend our lives telling people of the hope, the freedom, the love of Jesus Christ. We don't do that by voting in November. It's o.k. to ask Caesar to be in line with our mission, we get to do that if we want to. Beyond that, I believe that God is asking us, the Church - the people He calls His children- to be a part of the restoration He has begun. To care for the poor, spread the Good news, to love, to hope, to serve.

Gene and I are reading Jesus for President by Shane Claiborne. We just picked up a copy yesterday. Maybe you want to read it with us?

How we need to be freed from the illusion that we’re doing anything kingdom by voting a certain way every couple years! How we need to wake up to the truth that we vote for or against the Kingdom every day of our life. We vote by how we spend our money and time. We vote by where we live, who we hang out with, the kind of car we drive and the kind of clothes we wear. In the Kingdom, we vote with our lives, not in a booth expressing our opinion about what Caesar should do. -Greg Boyd

here I am, now what?

The Lord is merciful and compassionate,
slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love.

This week as I read through some of the En Gedi lectionary passages, the theme of complaining to God emerged. I have complained to God about many things - much like the Israelites, I'm wondering why can't I just stay where I am, make friends, enjoy family. Why couldn't I at least move to somewhere near a large body of water? Now, I am not moving on from slavery as they were, but I do sometimes wonder why not just stay where I at least know my way around, it's familiar...?

I am glad that God is merciful and compassionate. I know, I am relying on His guidance. I am trusting that He is concerned with my journey and how I feel about it. That may not change the steps I am to take but I can look for Him to, as He did with the Israelites, provide what I need for the life He is leading me in. When I don't recognize His provision, when I don't know what to do next and when I'm crying for my own way, I'm glad He is slow to anger and filled with unfailing love.

I wish I had written this song.

Since I did not write this song, I'm glad that Francesca Battistelli did. (Click on her name, if you would like to visit the site and listen to it. The lyrics resonated with me today.)


My heart beats, standing on the edge
But my feet have finally left the ledge

Like an acrobat
There’s no turning back

(Chorus)
I’m letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
I’m losing control
Of my destiny
It feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
So I’m letting go

This is a giant leap of faith
Trusting and trying to embrace

The fear of the unknown
Beyond my comfort zone

(Chorus)

Giving in to your gravity
Knowing You are holding me
I’m not afraid

(Chorus)

Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
Feels like I’m falling and this is the life for me


(Francesca Battistelli / Ian Eskelin / Tony Wood) © 2008 Word Music, LLC (ASCAP) / Bridge Designer Music, Inc., Honest and Popular Songs (SESAC) (Adm. by Multisongs, Inc) / New Spring Publishing Inc., Row 9 Seat J Songs (ASCAP)

In the past 40 days...

...we moved to Nashville Tn.
...we celebrated 18 years of marriage.
...Spencer turned 8.
...I turned 40.
...we went to the Smokey Mountains, and Dollywood.
...we got a new car, along with a car payment for the first time in over 8 years.
...I've begun the learning process of another public school routine.
...I began a new job at Vanderbilt's Childrens Hospital. I like the job so far, even though I have not been out of classroom orientation yet.
...we all got library cards (having fun isnt' hard,when you have a library card!).
...I've kept an orchid alive for over two weeks now! (blooms still in tact)
...I've been sun burnt 3 different times (not smart).
...I got a TN drivers' license and have been fingerprinted and back ground checked 3 different times.
...I started a new journal.
...I've fallen behind in my studies and blogging, I have done little to no reading. AND the new season of Heroes begins this week and I am not caught up on the last season!

Jibe Ho!

"I hate being the dumb girl", I said to my friend who is a physician. "You know, every work place has one at some time, someone who just doesn't get it....I'm that girl." My friend very kindly and quickly replied, "Oh, no Juli, that person never knows who she is. As long as you are aware, you are not the dumb girl!"  So, I went back to work on Monday and just kept on. This was the story of my career 3 years ago.  I have come a long way since then (and still have much to go.)

I don't know what my colleagues were really thinking back then but they were kind and helpful - most of the time! :-) Over the past several years, the people I work with have become some of my dearest friends. We have shared struggles with family crisis and illness, as well as work place ups and downs. We have great conversations, tackled many issues, solved world problems and exposed some as well.  I have learned so much! My faith has been strengthened as I see God at work in the lives of these beautiful people. Shalom.

Apple Pie, A La Mode.

My list of 40 things to do before I'm 40 included making an apple pie. After months of promising to make this pie, I finally did it! Even without the allspice, I have to say it went quite well. MMMMMM. Very rewarding. 

Nothing can separate us...

How awesome is it that no matter our circumstances, we are never apart from the love of our God, our Creator. As a child of God, I do not have to worry or be afraid, unless I want to. (Which, I admit sometimes I just do. It's easier sometimes, just worry and be afraid, I'll be confident and courageous when I get over myself.)

We are a little over 2 weeks away from moving to Nashville, TN. We will leaved the Midwest lifestyle for the first time ever and venture out into a new city, a new culture...a new adventure. Right now, I am interviewing for jobs and saying good bye to good friends, a city and neighborhood and a work place that I love. Monday I found a lump on my breast. My first thought was, "Great, another thing to think about." Now, I'll go for a diagnostic mammogram this week and just see what next. I wasn't really worried until I told a couple people and heard a couple horror stories. I was really only thinking of the inconvenience of the timing... There is also the things of selling a home - finances, inspections, appraisals... The kids begin school the week we move and the paperwork sitting here for me to complete. Spencer needs to get his cast off before we move or I will be sawing it off with a kitchen knife. :-) O.k. so, you can start to see that like many of you, I can go on and on about the things that I could choose to worry about. The cool thing - I truly am not worried and I am so thankful for the gift of faith and unending, unconditional love that my God has given me! When I say it all out loud, I realize why people are wondering why I am planning parties and going to ball games. I want to enjoy this process. I don't want to hurry around and miss the life that God is giving, even when there is much to do. Oh, I have my moments (I blame PMS). Maybe in the moment following this session, I will pop open a Blue Moon and get to work. For this moment, I am grateful.

Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? ...No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

It's All Good!

‘Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.’
-Jesus (Matthew 11:28-30)

It's more simple than I make it to be sure. It is probably the very reason that causes me to have to try to understand, is why I don't completely grasp what Jesus is saying here. It seems to me lately that resting is harder work than it ought to be. The mind just grabs hold of all the things that I am trying to let go of, not "worry" about and hangs on tight. If I am able to let it go during the day - mostly be distracting myself - my mind just goes into overdrive throughout the night. Dreams...headaches...tingling in the hands and feet...(which could simply be hormones too, I suppose).

I dreamt two nights in a row about a woman who was a very good friend to me when I was a senior in high school. In the dream, I was walking and heard (not audibly) a voice, I turn and there is Jo, sitting in a barbers chair. She has a big smile on her face. I then immediately just go over and give her a big hug. That's it. No words exchanged. No feelings of anything but, hey, it's good to see you! 

Our house is on the market, we have multiple showings throughout the week, we are in negotiations now with a potential buyer. It occurred to me that while we keep saying that we are not in any particular hurry, no matter when the house sells we will have a short period of time to secure a job and a place to live. School in Nashville begins mid-August. So, there are just a lot of unanswered questions. I love a good adventure but if I'm honest my favorite part of adventure is getting beyond it and looking back fondly, knowing I made it. (My friends who went White-water rafting with me can attest to that!)

So...I have a lot to learn from Jesus about "finding rest" this week. 

 "It's all good!" is becoming our mantra around here. Gene says it often.  I am believing it, I just don't know the details of just how good it really is, that's all. 

These will be my notes on the scripture passage as I travel through the week: (please share your insights too!)

In earlier verses, just prior to the quote above, Jesus voices his judgement on those who consider themselves intelligent, wise - on arrogant and self-satisfied people. He seems not ony to be speaking of those who are self-satisfied without him, but also those who felt themselves secure in their knowledge of God and Jesus himself (see the earlier versese, 11:20-24),

One commentary on this verse said this: "Jesus embraces the meek, the broken and the little ones, for they are most like him."

inspiring:

At 41, she has done what most would have termed impossible since retiring (for the second time, no less) after the 2000 games: bear a child, get diagnosed with asthma, go through recent knee and shoulder surgeries, and arrive at the U.S. Olympic swimming trials posting faster times than in her mid-20s. Yet, when she touched a wall in the 100-meter freestyle Friday night, she squinted at digits that seemed downright impossible. Torres qualified for the Olympic team by edging out a 25-year-old Natalie Coughlin by five one hundredths of a second – 53.78 to 53.83 – in an event in which Coughlin holds the American record.

I may not be going to Bejing (this was something I thought maybe I would do) but Dara Torres is - and I'll be watching!

take care of your toes today