connected to Presence?

:: annual september 1 reflection ::
am i living in truth based on Presence or truth based on information and past experience? my life should be an outflow of the Presence of Christ in my life, is it?

Have mercy on me, O God,
because of your unfailing love.
Because of your great compassion,
blot out the stain of my sins.
Wash me clean from my guilt.
Purify me from my sin.
For I recognize my rebellion;
it haunts me day and night.
Against you, and you alone, have I sinned;
I have done what is evil in your sight.
You will be proved right in what you say,
and your judgment against me is just.
For I was born a sinner—
yes, from the moment my mother conceived me.
But you desire honesty from the womb,
teaching me wisdom even there.

Purify me from my sins,and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
Oh, give me back my joy again;
you have broken me—
now let me rejoice.
Don’t keep looking at my sins.
Remove the stain of my guilt.
Create in me a clean heart, O God.
Renew a loyal spirit within me.
Do not banish me from your presence,
and don’t take your Holy Spirit from me.

Restore to me the joy of your salvation,
and make me willing to obey you.
Then I will teach your ways to rebels,
and they will return to you.
Forgive me for shedding blood, O God who saves;
then I will joyfully sing of your forgiveness.
Unseal my lips, O Lord,
that my mouth may praise you.

You do not desire a sacrifice, or I would offer one.
You do not want a burnt offering.
The sacrifice you desire is a broken spirit.
You will not reject a broken and repentant heart, O God.
Look with favor on Zion and help her;
rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.
Then you will be pleased with sacrifices offered in the right spirit—

Fire: Connect to Presence

::on fiding my dream job::

I took one of those "find the perfect career test" today, this is what I got: two results based on who i am being right now and who i want to be. i got about 50 different career choices that could be a fit. helpful. it's all so clear now. it was however, a good diversion making me feel like i was getting closer to living the life i was created for. more productive than farm town maybe?

You would be very happy in a career that utilized your level-headedness, and allowed you to work mainly on your own. You want a career that allows you to be creative, without having to be involved with lots of people. Some careers that would be perfect for you are:

* Artist
* Historian
* Banker
* Novelist
* University Professor
* Photographer
* Vet
* Paralegal
* Graphic Designer
* Online Content Developer
* Webmaster
* Producer
* Managing Director
* Nutritionist
* Advertising
* Nursing

You like working and being alone. You like to avoid attention at all costs. You tend to keep to yourself, and not interact much with the people around you. You enjoy spending time with a few a close friends. You like to listen to others, but don't like sharing much about yourself. You are very quiet and private.

This is not how I feel, only reveals my insecurities to me in the way I fearfully answer the survey questions. It may be perhaps the way I am perceived in my workplace, I'm not really sure. If I say that I like people and enjoy being in charge; if I say that I love being where the action is...will I actually have to then work in a job that requires me to step up? Will I have to stick my neck out again? Will I have to face the rejection and pain of leadership again?

You like to be deeply involved in one or two special projects. You like to be behind the scenes. You are very logical and fair. You feel you should be honest with others and protect their feelings.

You trust your gut instincts. You are easily inspired and trust that inspiration. You are very innovative. You analyse things by looking at the big picture. You are concerned about how what you do affects others. You worry about your actions and the future. You tend to use a lot of metaphors and are very descriptive and colourful in your choice of language.

You are very creative, and get bored easily if you don't get to express yourself. You like to learn new things. You don�t like the same old routine. You like to leave your options open.

So, that's the first outcome of the survey. I took it again.
This time I got a personality that is more of who I want to be. Travel agent? that may be fun.

You would most enjoy a career that allows you to meet new people. You would also be happiest in a career that allows you to be free and flexible, and allows you to be extremely creative. Some careers that would be perfect for you are:

* Stockbroker
* Secretary
* Receptionist
* Director
* Recruitment Consultant
* Politician
* Marketing
* Human Resources Manager
* Religious Minister
* Teacher
* Lawyer
* Advertising
* Consultant
* Financial Adviser
* Financial Planner
* GP
* Physical Therapy
* Occupational Therapy
* Public Relations
* Estate Agent
* Travel Agent
* Restauranteur
* Hotel Manager
* Events Organiser

You are a great leader. You genuinely enjoy being around other people. Your relationships with others are very important to you. You love talking and meeting new people. You are very enthusiastic about work and about all that you do and have in your life. You love being the focus of attention. You enjoy a fast pace. You are very socially oriented. Therefore, you are much happier being with others than you are alone. You crave interaction with others.

You are very spontaneous and often act before you think. You are always quick to answer when you are asked a question, even if you aren't sure of the answer. It is easier for you to improvise as you go along. You enjoy thinking out loud, and are most creative when brainstorming with friends or colleagues. You enjoy being involved in many activities.

You are very easy to read, and often wear your heart on your sleeve. You are never afraid to tell people what you think. You are very empathetic and genuine. You can sometimes be seen as over-emotional or too involved by others. But that is only because you tend to get so involved in the things you do that they become personal. You want to be adored, loved and appreciated. You like to please others and to make sure people are happy.

You trust your gut instincts. You are easily inspired and trust that inspiration. You are very innovative. You analyse things by looking at the big picture. You are concerned about how what you do affects others. You worry about your actions and the future. You tend to use a lot of metaphors and are very descriptive and colourful in your choice of language.

You are very creative, and get bored easily if you don't get to express yourself. You like to learn new things. You don't like the same old routine. You like to leave your options open.

take the quiz: iVillage

Exile Island

For years I have been a student of the gifts given to us by God to fulfill our mission in reconciliation. Working together in different ways towards a common aim, Paul compared us to a human body. It consists of many parts but each part is ordered to the well-being of the whole. That should be a picture of the Christian community. We are all equal in dignity - Jew or Greek, slave or citizen, man or woman, cleric or lay - but different in calling and manner of service.

On this feast of Pentecost, as we celebrate the formation and the mission of the whole Christian community, I also need to reflect on the particular role that God has for me, to reflect on the particular contribution that I can make to the corporate mission of the Church (and of the particular group with which I am involved, whatever that is to look like).

Missionaries on a foreign mission field find themselves pioneering new works, forging new paths, carrying on a work in what must feel at times like isolation. One night while we were watching Survivor, I began thinking how similar the experience on Exile Island is to the experience I am having with the Christian community. The community is still there, back at camp doing the things you do back at camp. I am still part of the community, just not in proximity. There are times I feel like I live in some kind of exile. That is not new, I am not the first or only Christ follower who has experienced this. Some who have gone before us have been literally exiled. It is how we use this time, right?

Today, because of what a friend of mine is going through being separated from her family at a time when she most needs to be with them, I am again considering the power of proximity, or the lack of. My friend is at work right now, surrounded by people who have no idea what she is going through. She is a child of God saying goodbye to a loved one. I prayed that she would know the "Peace be with you" that transcends proximity and as I prayed, I knew that it was possible. A mystery to be sure.

Ultimately the mission of the Church is to bring people to God. It is not primarily to make converts to Christianity or to build up the Church but to work with God in building the Kingdom. The Kingdom realized is the whole world acknowledging the lordship of God our Creator and people directing their lives to be one with him.

In exile, this may look different than it has before. So, what's it gonna be...this life on the Island.

Do something transformational

I took a survey and this is what it said...

I occasionally enjoy taking various personality tests, especially when I need to break an over reflective cycle. These cycles get spinning and these tests seem to give a point of spinning off in an actual direction for a while. Today I completed a Spiritual Profile survey on explorefaith.org (a site that I wish that I had created, I like it that much). This test has brought a couple of things in me to the surface. I am caused to consider and appreciate the differences, the uniqueness of the way we all go about our Spiritual journey. This is, when I meet someone who has a style so different than mine, a difficult thing for me to embrace. For example, when I am feeling doubtful, distant and a bit insecure in my faith, the last person I want to talk to is someone who is a "lover" or a "maverick" (types listed in this profile). They may be the exact people I need to interact with but never the less, it is difficult thing for me to celebrate. Today, I am rethinking that attitude, and even I will admit that is a long time coming and could prove to be very beneficial.

The other benefit for me today in taking this was that I saw what may be a description of my journey and discovered a couple resources that I would like to look into more. I love it when I get a lead on how I may set out on learning the life that my Creator is leading me in.

This is what my profile said about me:

You are a Seeker


Seeker

Seekers are people who naturally connect with the Holy One through questioning. They have a healthy skepticism that makes it easy for them to explore different opinions, understandings, and experiences of faith. They do not feel the need to accept traditional faith patterns in order to come to a lively trust in God. They do not feel that faith needs to be categorized or institutionalized in order to be real. Inconsistencies and mystery are not daunting to them, but they sometimes find it hard to recognize God in ready-made answers to questions of faith. They seek to relate to the Holy One through exploration and journey. They tend to pray with hopefulness rather than certainty in God’s response. If they were to meet God face to face, they would want to ask God questions.

The woman who met Jesus by a well near her town exemplifies the qualities of a seeker. She was courageous in speaking with Jesus—a male who was outside her tradition—and she even boldly challenged Jesus when he questioned her about her faith and life. Though she was on a path of trying to find and live spiritual truth, she was humble enough to accept new truth when it was revealed to her.

If you are a seeker you may find spiritual meaning through asking questions and testing the normally accepted assumptions about God and faith. As a seeker looking for truth, the journey will be as important to you as the destination. You may be encouraged in your seeking by going to explorefaith.org’s Explore Faith section. Other material of interest could include explorefaith.org books such as Blowing the Lid off the God-box and Beyond Words: Fifteen Ways of Doing Prayer, and articles introducing new ways of perceiving, such as those on Ram Dass, Jewish Spirituality, A World of Prayers, and The Stuff of Dreams, about using dreams and the unconscious to connect with God.

Seekers may struggle more with traditional patterns of prayer and faith. Praying the Hours and reading daily Signpost devotions may be surprise tonics for your soul.

Surprises along the Mississippi River.

I love surprises...



Yesterday we took a drive to Memphis to connect with Jamie and Gayle Pund, who have been in Memphis on a week long mission trip working with "NCC". So, we after worshiping God with the community of believers at Friendship Nazarene, and eating lunch at Pearl Oyster House, we decided to take a walk along first Beale St. and then the Mississippi. We grew up along the "ole Miss" and then on down the river in La Crosse WI our friendship with the Punds was formed. Another friendship, one with Jenn Macainaig was formed along the same river. Later, she would move to Madison, WI - where she still lives and sails and has her being on a different body of water. Back to Memphis...we were crossing the road when we heard a horn honk and there at the intersection of Life and Fun sat Jenn Macainag in her Honda, Pilot. A second look confirmed it. There we were, hundreds of miles away from our respective homes, brought together by the Maker of the Mississippi River. It was a great day spent among those I love, the Body of Christ. Worshiping our Creator together, enjoying friendship. I love surprises.

Ash Wednesday: the beginning of a historic journey

Lord Jesus Christ, you loved us while we were yet sinners, and have called us to love others, to bring hope to a broken world. Help us each day to be your people and to live lives of uncommon faith and love. You are the Lord forevermore. Amen.

Be Thou My Vision

Ancient Irish hymn, possibly from the 8th Century

Be Thou my vision, O Lord of my heart
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best thought by day or by night
Waking or sleeping Thy presence my light
Be thou my wisdom and Thou my true word
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord
Thou my great Father, I , Thy true son
Thou in me dwelling and I with Thee one
Riches I heed not nor man's emptly praise
Thou mine inheritance now and always
Thou and thou only first in my heart
High King of heaven my treasure Thou are
High King of heaven my victory won
May I reach heaven's joys, O bright heaven's Sun
Heart of my own heart whatever befall
Still be my vision O Ruler of all

Recently I have been reflecting (too much probably) on what I should be striving to become. The character, the inner growth is so intangible - it is not something I can work on with time oriented goals and specific outcomes. There are things I am mindful of, but I find myself needing goals and a plan for where I am going. Even if the plan changes along the way, I need a plan. So, here I am with many things up in the air - family, school, business, career....
It is good today to take time - in ashes. I love connecting with history - the lent journey is a historic one, that reaches down through the ages, connecting with the human story of relationship with our Creator. I know I am not the first to travel this road, won't be the last and am not alone along the way. Recognizing my need for connection with my God, my Creator, my Savior. Be my vision, O Ruler of all.