Report Card Rewards...

Recently I posted a poll on Facebook, asking my friends to weigh in on the issue of paying children for grades earned in school, with payday being report card day. I thoroughly enjoyed the conversation that followed. Many of my very insightful friends, some teachers and all wonderful parents, contributed.

Up to this point, we have taught our children that the grades they receive are their reward. Being on a "principal's list" or "honor roll" - all those are set up to reward their work. We have attempted to instill that the opportunity to learn is reward enough. "I am not Johnnie's parent", "That is between him and his parents" are some of the responses that became familiar to our report card day conversations. The focus seemed to always land back on the question of monetary reward. In light of recent motivational challenges, I began to question. I began to read articles and do some research on the topic.

Intrinsic motivation, one of our goals in raising the boys is to be self motivated in accomplishing all that goes into the mission they are called to. Gene and I have set out to leverage their God given gifts that equip them to honor God, their Creator in the way they live their lives. Doing the work of learning included, they may have to do what they do for very little earthly reward. We ought not live our lives for "what is in it for us". Along this path, many friends who shared their views felt that a community - a family - celebration of a good report card was called for - monetary reward not being necessary, possibly out of line with held values. I do agree.

However, if we view going to school as their "job" rather than "vocation", this would not confuse the issue of also providing monetary compensation. This could prepare them for the compensation-for-work-done system of the work place. That would not take away from the intrinsic motivation - it's more of a bonus. All the while providing a little extra incentive for doing their homework - not bad.

Entitlement was brought up by another parent. This could be one of those unintended consequences to be aware of, true. A red flag: "Johnnie gets..."or "Everyone else is..." I heard a couple stories of kids deciding that they don't need the money and therefore, working for grades becomes unnecessary as well. We probably all agree that we must be careful not to give the impression that they should be only be required to do what is rewarded to their satisfaction (we have all worked along side those people, right).

Research shows that monetary rewards for grades is minimally effective. At times it is only temporarily effective. As was often cited in our FB conversation - the motivational factors varies from one individual to another. What works for one child, may not have any impact on another. This may be the case in our household - fairness between siblings being a whole other conversation. My friend from Des Moines points us back to being in line with our family values, good word.

The point that swayed me in the direction we are taking now is the one made by several who differentiated between the getting good grades because they turn their assignments in and grades as a true refection on what they learn. It was actually one of the teachers that contributed to this line of thought. So, when my kids grades are a true reflection on what they are learning, and the effort required in the process, we will need to reevaluate. For now, while my kids grades are more of a refection on their organizational skills and their ability to remain focused for a certain period of time, I may need to provide another little incentive. It neutralized the "law of unintended consequences", at least for now.

A perfect balance in this was suggested by one of the wisest people I know. Parents celebrate and teach the kids to value their work, put in the effort, do their best, love to learn no matter what the external rewards and Grandparents provide the monetary reward. Love that!

I very much enjoyed hearing the creativity that goes into parenting - those who built in a cost for below average grades. One of my Nashville friends suggested "real" pizza...where in Nashville, TN do you get "real pizza"?! I liked the trip to Des Moines, a bit more costly than than any reward I was considering - but ...a visit with a wonderful forever friend, priceless!

We finally decided. (Truth is, Gene actually decided rather quickly -it was a bit more of a process for me as you can see.) Because both boys will easily get all A's if they simply hand in their homework, we decided to add incentive. They are learning that with reward comes responsibility - they will also be accepting financial responsibility beyond "Mom, can I have..." "Dad, can we...?" They will now have earned money for those expenses. This, they actually seemed to like. (Maybe because "no" is too often the response to those questions?) This term they are being rewarded with a small amount of money (adds up) for A's and B's. Next term the reward is a year end party with friends, and extra money to spend on that party for A's and B's. They both wrote their own goals for each class and we opened a savings account. Now, we'll see...

My reward for all the effort put into this assignment - a morning at the Pfunky Griddle with my friend.

We each have certain responsibilities that must be carried out if the family is to work together, children included. Each family member receives benefits that come from working together and benefits from simply being a member of the family (such as an allowance).

By teaching that each family works and lives together for mutual growth and benefit, and putting allowances in that light, parents and children alike can establish the right attitudes and principles. The key is to give children their allowances and require them to do their household chores without tying the two together like a work-for-hire agreement.

We have responsibilities...we also receive many blessings simply for being His children. Giving children an allowance, Crown Financial Ministries