We have all done it, walk up to what you think is the front door, give it a tug met by resistance and then notice the sign, PLEASE USE OTHER DOOR. Depending on what you went through getting to that door, the feelings vary. No big deal, just reach over and open the other door, right? Unless you are already feeling a sense of frustration over the effort and time it took to find this door and the other door is not in sight. In that case, this experience can be very discouraging. That said, if you want in, you have to find the open door.
I am energized by any opportunity to be at the ball field. All last year I thought that is was just that I love baseball. I love watching my boys play a sport that I began to enjoy so much when I was their ages. This week I got to sit in the stands of the football field and enjoyed that just as much. This led me to another realization, besides being passionate about anything that my boys find fulfilling, I really enjoy feeling like I'm part of a community. This is a place that I am willing to keep searching for an open door to.
It has been almost two years since we moved to Nashville. I am now entering into that place between being a newcomer and not. This is the space where those who have been in a place long enough, begin knowing what is going on, how things work and how to be involved. It is the beginning of knowing what you don't know.
It is often in this place where patterns begin to emerge. You begin seeing the same faces, the same names - the same people in the same places repeatedly and sense "these people may be able to help me". Of course, these same people may also have everything under control and direct you elsewhere. In that case, you have to try another "door". (In my case,I even met some people who were willing to tell me what a "northerner" is. If you meet enough of these people, you can piece together a profile that will be helpful to you when you do finally enter through the open door!)
This is where I stand, staring at the other door...
...at least I can see the entrance, right?
Here are just a few of the tips I have received from my friends (some humor here of course, some adapted from various quotes that have been sent to me):
*Native Southerners do not share the same fascination for Northern accents as Yankees have for the harmonious and charming Southern accent.
*Everyday conversations with the natives will invariably throw you for a full year or so. Groceries are put in a 'sack', people 'carry' their friends to the store, directions consist of 'Up air a ways' or 'down yonder', and "Y'all" covers everybody. "Puny" means ill and "Bless your heart" is not always a blessing.
*Whatever you do, do not launch into an affected Southern drawl until you've earned the right (pronounce 'rat') to have one. Southern hospitality has its natural limits, and inadvertently mocking the natives is one of them.
*Coke is generic for any carbonated beverage. If you say you'd like a "coke", expect a pause awaiting the kind of "coke" you would like.
*Know what a "meat and 3" is.
*The battle cry of any Southerner anywhere is: 'We don't CARE how they do it up North!' Remember that rule to your dying day.
*Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.
*If there is the prediction of the slightest chance of even the most minuscule accumulation of snow, your presence is required at the local grocery store. It does not matter if you need anything from the store, it is just something you're supposed to do.
*Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.
*Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"
